Tuesday, September 3, 2013

What Weighs You Down?

Today is Tuesday,  September 3, 2013.

"If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down."  –Toni Morrison

The other night I had a dream in which I was visiting a woman who was in one of my writers' groups.  She is married and has a little girl now, and although we don't correspond much anymore, I knew that I was visiting her family in the dream.  They all wanted to go to an outdoor festival of some kind, and asked me to come along, but I declined, saying that I had to leave.  I needed to shower and pack first.  They went out without me. 

I felt a little rushed as I packed my things.  I had lots of papers with me, for some reason, and other bulky things that I didn't really need.  I gathered as many things as I could in my arms, realizing that I did not have a car in this dream.  I was also aware that I didn't have much money.  I wasn't entirely sure where I was supposed to go, and had no idea how I was going to get there. 

I started out the door, then realized I forgot an extra pair of shoes, so I went back in and grabbed the shoes without packing them.  For some reason, I felt that I was in a hurry.  Some friends of my hosts' came by and asked where they were, so I had to stop, put my things down, and explain, telling them why they weren't at home and why I was just leaving. 

When the people left, I noticed in my things an old cell phone.  It looked sort of like an iPhone, except it was old.  When I turned it on, there was a message playing, but it was a little garbled, as if the phone were running out of energy.   I knew it was "the police" calling, telling me I had to call them back and tell them where I was.  I was aware that I was running away from them. 

By this time, I was aware that I was dreaming, so I began to control things a bit.  I decided to use my credit card for travel, and realized that I needed to get rid of some of the things I was carrying, as I didn't really need them.  I decided to ditch the old phone at the bottom of a lake.

Then I woke up.

I am not wanted by the police.  I do not have two cell phones.  However, I realized that I do probably have a lot of "baggage" that needs to be unloaded in this lifetime, and that I have some residual guilt that needs to be released.  The fact that "the police"  (my guilt) were calling me on an old phone seems to indicate that it's an old message in my subconscious.  

For me, all of life has been a process of giving up things that weigh me down so that I can fly.  The fact that I am now aware in my dreams that the baggage I have is unnecessary is a step forward.

Now to unload.   :-)

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